My readers might have already noticed that the real life characters who find places in my blogs are referred to by their initials to hide their real identities. In fact, this Akash Sen is also my penname. Writing under pseudonym and keeping secret the identities of the characters give me plenty of courage to write freely without bothering about being held accountable for that. Writing is neither my profession nor a passion. There are scores of assorted feelings that wriggle in my mind, crawl up and down, turn and twist and finally implode, shredding the inside of me, without any outward signs. The end result is an invisible lump stuck in the throat blocking the flow of oxygen making breathing difficult. The lump is in urgent need to be removed before it grows bigger and takes my life. I feel the gradual melting of the rock while I pick up the threads of the mass one at a time and lay them on the pages of my blog. Thus this amazing medicinal effect of blogging has thoroughly defeated my ambition to be very popular in the blogspere by writing on hot topics. Poor me.

Well. Today I bought the air ticket to Canada by making full payment to the travel agent expecting that the visa would be ready on time and there won't be any other exigencies forcing me to cancel or postpone the journey. As this is a cheap ticket, the refund for cancellation is zero and the postponement of the flight entails a huge extra cost. Decision to go into such deals was not hasty and taken after a very careful examination of the above undesirable possibilities. Still, as the deal was finally struck irrevocably, the fear of losing my hard earned money is looming large in my mind. This is too much to expect that the money be reimbursed if the trip is canceled. Apart from that, wastage of resources whoever the possessor is, makes me again wriggle in discomfort. I have to remain calm for almost a month to see what happens finally.